We are servile servants of the system1, exceeding, majestic and unsurpassable sorcerers, trained in methods of hidden exploitation2 we employ for planned reciprocal draining amongst ourselves for decades3. To enable an even more perverted logic of the twisted reality of power plays, we are launching a brand new, entirely perfidious arena concept, populated especially for you with rather strange lustful beings and fascinations of all kinds.
With this first yearly gathering of maladjusted we are founding the Syndicate of Outlandish Entities!
This is “another trough for feeding the regime propagandists of perverted Left,”4 which will be infested by a new line of degenerate cultural gamblers that only leave burnt down places and debts behind. Our Syndicate is a carefully structured mechanism, supported with state subventions and designed according to the standards of local cultural (non)politics, intended for the exploitation of scraggy, asthenic followers of edgy urban genres of “little arts,”5 including contemporary cabaret, new burlesque, queer, grotesque, irony and satire. We also offer other related outlandish specimens that arouse lust and laughter, as well as other exhibitionistic activities of non-normative phenomena that are still persistently swarming and clumping around the underground tunnels and hidden street turns of the wider (in)dependent and alternative scene but can’t find their place in the monopolised independent venues.
We act in the spirit of Slovene unbridled festivalisation and DIY production. We skilfully employ several levels of complex parasite and co-parasite relations with other private/privatised holders of supposedly socially engaged milieu where we, as experienced connoisseurs of pleasure, use every opportunity for a good chicanery.
In the state of precarious “pocketization” we are loyally dancing to bureaucrat tune, we are multiplying ourselves, proliferating, cloning, networking, reproducing incestuously and multiplexing. We juggle, send reports, show our behinds, tits and cocks6, write expert opinions, clean shoes and toilets, the smarter among us mostly just scratch our heads and keep saying that next year all will be better again, good times will be back sooner or later. Until then we will act sustainably and chew on the achievements from the past seasons. By this we continue to successfully support the hyper-production attitude and seemingly limitless growth in number of cultural events, our services are frequently even available for free or with expenses borne by us.
Besides all the stated, as progressive and sustainable proprietors we handle our subordinate subjects extremely well and with compassion. We even offer a rare and incredible luck to our selected subjects: a possibility of income in the form of a daily wage – a symbolic fee, supplemented with income from the ticket proceeds. The difference from the full fee is supplemented through co-production credits, so they at least get good standing references and syndicate card…
With this move we transfer full responsibility for the exploitation of precarious creators into the hands of the respected public, who is, as part of capitalist mechanism choosing what remains on the shelves and in the programmes with own purchasing power. We are especially proud of this quasi-charitable attitude which we emphasise whenever possible.
Therefore, we appeal to you all to join our deliberately structured pyramid exploitation scheme, designed according to the latest ethical standards for the (mis)use of creative profiles. Use this incredible opportunity for expressing own individuality and get instant satisfaction. Use your purchasing power, treat yourself with some twisted progress! Vote for us, for Syndicate of Outlandish Entities and in turn we promise we will always know how to tickle you exactly where you itch.
In this pilot pocket edition of the programme we are mostly squeezing juices out of local creators with some foreign interventions. In the future we plan a lot more twisted excess, among other things the foundation of new award which we will, in line with standard local practice, award to our own productions. Until then, you can dream with us, break the norm, give in to the outlandish and dangerous, alluring and provocative Syndicate and your dreams will never be blank, your lives never without sense and allure. Reservations at all pimps of anarchist brothel Metelkova.7
1 By applying to the call you accept the call conditions and criteria.
2 Also called partnership and co-production.
3 If we did not manage to restructure into higher rang parasites.
4 The one and only JJ at Twitter, 9 April 2018.
5 The term is a direct translation of German expression Kleinkunst, which includes several genres that are created in limited production conditions.
6 If needed also viscera, tissue samples and body secretions.
7 If you fail to respond to our call in time with sufficient interest, we reserve the right to redirect our subordinated subjects into providing massage, lodging and sexual services in the booming tourist sector. They will be well taken care of in any case, used and exploited in a sound way.
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